Could the person you are having relationship problems with actually have narcissistic personality disorder?
What if the conflicts you have with someone who tries to project all their problems onto you and makes you feel ‘sick, troubled, pathetic’ are not actually caused by you?
How do we recognise a true narcissist?
- They are selfish and act as though the world revolves around them.
- They speak and behave in demeaning ways.
- They are suspicious and insistent.
- They are perfectionists (They will not accept anything unless it is exactly as they want it).
- They believe they are superior to you and other people and constantly seek approval; they expect praise.
- They do not care how you feel.
- They cannot offer a sincere, heartfelt apology for anything.
- They are obsessive.
- They are emotionally detached, avoid emotional relationships and do not want to invest in them.
These people need lengthy psychotherapy that requires considerable effort. If, of course, they accept that they have a ‘problem(!)’..
If you are with someone you think has these traits and you feel that you are frequently being emotionally manipulated, yet you keep trying to maintain the relationship. The most important thing to consider here is your motivation for continuing to stay.
Remember that if you persist in trying to ‘make this relationship work’, it may be because you have other motivations, such as being this person’s ‘victim’ or ‘rescuer’.
If this applies to you, it would be helpful to seek professional support to understand your own dynamics.
